The Art of Relaxation
We know we should relax, but we can not do it. In our busy lives, it’s easy to think of relaxation as a waste of time. “Yet this is not a useless pleasure: it is essential for our health,” warns psychologist Louise Handfield-Champagne. When we allow ourselves time to relax our tensions and put ourselves in mode of relaxation, we momentarily pick up crazy whirlwind, we change the ideas and we fill up with energy here are ome tips on family mediators for divorce.
- “I would like to relax, but I do not know how to do it.”
We know the benefits of relaxation and we are full of good will. We try, but nothing seems to work: we just can not find the right formula.
Why is it so complicated? Perhaps because we are so caught up in our obligations that we are disconnected from what is resting and we are pleased. Or because we have invested so much in the happiness of others that we have forgotten who we are and what really makes us feel good.
To try: We try to find in our life what is good for us. To get there, every time you feel relaxed, you take a mental picture of that moment. “We also think about what we did when we were young, when we had more free time, or what we like to do on vacation to relax. It helps us to find what would be good for us, “says Marie-Claude Lamarche, psychologist.
- “To relax, you absolutely need to register for a yoga class.”
At a time when everything is going fast, the activities of relaxation are in fashion. While our neighbor swears by yoga, another has found peace in meditation. And US?
If we choose an activity that does not suit us, we may not enjoy it and see it as an obligation. Relaxation must not be a chore! “You have to avoid setting requirements, such as time, rules, or purpose. We must not seek perfection, “says Marie-Claude Pélissier.
To try: Before running to register for the latest fashionable course, we try to determine our interests. “To win, you do not have to go to a structured course or relax for an hour, notes Marie-Claude Lamarche. We must look for what is easy and enjoyable for us. ”
Nathalie’s thing, 42 years old: “Relaxing does not necessarily mean doing nothing … It’s mostly doing something that makes me feel good. It can be running, writing my blog, cooking all afternoon listening to music and drinking tea, reading books, getting a massage, etc. ”
- “It’s good for others. I do not need it. “
Whether because we are passionate about our work or because we find our value in the amount of work that is slaughtered, we can feel that relaxing is a waste of time.
However, it is a mistake to think that you can ride without stopping. If we like our work and want to continue for a long time, we must refuel regularly. “It’s a utopia to believe that you never need to relax. It’s like saying you do not need to eat or sleep, “says Marie-Claude Lamarche. Our body can keep pace for a while, but at some point we have to respect our needs for relaxation. “Otherwise, it’s life that will force us to stop,” says Louise Handfield-Champagne.
To try: We look for interests outside of work. If you’re competitive, you can turn to interactive modes of relaxation, like team sports, for example. We eat at our office? Error! Dinner time is a great time to win. This break time will allow us to be more productive the rest of the day. Still convinced not to need it? “We try anyway various forms of relaxation, suggests Marie-Claude Pélissier, psychologist. Thus, we check if our first impression is good. “We may be surprised!
“One day, my neighbor asked me to go for a walk with her. Owl! Since then, we call each other almost every evening, after supper, and we go out walking together. I would not have thought this activity would have that effect on me, but when I tried it, I discovered that it was relaxing. Thank you, dear neighbor!”
- “To relax, long live the TV or the computer!”
After a busy day, we love to sit in front of the TV for a few hours of relaxation. Yet, when you get out of the sofa, four hours later, the worries are resurfacing, the tensions come back and we are as stressed as before.
“TV, like the Internet, stimulates us more than it relaxes us. We are bombarded with information and images. Moreover, it’s clear that zapping is not very relaxing! “Notes Marie-Claude Pélissier. When we watch TV, we may change the ideas, but we do not necessarily relax. If we still feel stressed or worried after spending time in front of our screen, the activity did not relax us. We may choose television to relax because we lack a few ideas … and motivation. It is much more difficult to decide to go for a walk than to stretch to take the remote control. Having a ritual to watch our favorite show, seeing this moment as a break from our daily lives, can be a comforting activity. The danger,
To try: One evaluates how one feels after turning off the television: is one energized, the mind lighter or completely “potato”? Relaxation should not tire us, but rather bring us to a state of well-being. The break we enjoyed watching our show must have a positive effect. This is an indication that this form of relaxation is effective for us. If it is not, we try a different activity to find what would really help us, or we use a timer to remember to get up from the couch once our favorite show is over!
The trick of Anne, 32: “Some girlfriends and I had a ritual on the show La Galère . At home, we poured each other a cup of wine, we prepared a snack and we listened to the show by phoning during breaks. ”
- “My head never stops.”
We know what is conducive to relaxation: a good bath, a film with friends, a session at the gym. But our brain refuses to stop: “What am I going to do for supper? Well, another family party this week! “Etc.
Some people live a lot of anticipation, imagining a host of scenarios, ironing out different possibilities in their minds, while needing to miss nothing. “They are hyperactive brain!” Says Marie-Claude Lamarche. Warning: overheating to predict! Indeed, the brain also needs rest. “If our head never stops, it’s a flashing red light! There is a problem. We must stop, “says Louise Handfield-Champagne. An athlete who trains without taking any breaks may be injured. It’s the same for the “athletes” of the brain who work at full speed!
To try: “All repetitive activities that do not require great thinking are beneficial because they almost hypnotize us! They are done mechanically while continuing to think, but suddenly, we leave and finally disconnected from our mind, “says Marie-Claude Lamarche. Suggestions? Knit, walk, paint (or strip) a nice piece of furniture, knead bread, etc. “Tearing weeds can be life-saving! We do not need to think, we are not in a case of problem solving and we still do a concrete job, “says Marie-Claude Lamarche. If one wishes to go further, one can try meditation, which is very beneficial to learn to live the present moment and calm the flow of thoughts in our head. To know how to go about it, we consultTo meditate is health!
Another tip: “Gardening gives me a lot of relaxation. This activity allows me to clean up my thoughts, to clear my head for a moment. I like to say it’s a form of meditation for me. ”
- “I will rest when the household is finished, when I have a big file, when the children are big, etc.”
A reward, relaxation? Not necessarily, and especially not always! If you think you should “deserve” to relax, you may have trouble doing it when you really need it. Perhaps it is also difficult to stop when two baskets of laundry are keeping an eye on us.
Letting go is not always easy. For perfectionists, it’s almost impossible when all conditions are not met. But, if we wait for the perfect moment to relax, we may never see it happen. And then, unless you’re Jack Bauer, the world will not crumble if you take 20 minutes of rest … Do not blame yourself, even if everything is not perfect around.
To try: We say that a small break is much better than a long time we can not fit in our lives. The best? We put a time of relaxation in our schedule to get rid of our habit of waiting for perfection to prevail before taking this break. “Just taking three long, deep breaths is sometimes enough. And it does not last more than 90 seconds! My prescription? Three times a day, before meals to start, “suggests Louise Handfield-Champagne. We can also use the transitions in the day to have fun and think of yourself. “Putting yourself in a relaxed mood can simply mean having a glass of wine when you get home from work while you’re eating out,” says Marie-Claude Lamarche.
Nathalie’s tip, 42 years old: “For a long time I felt guilty about taking time for myself, without any productive objective: I told myself that I had to take care of my children or move on to the next point on my infinite list of things to do. Then, I realized that the less time I took for myself, the more I became impatient with the children. And conversely a break of a few hours had beneficial effects for days. ”