Fighting Over Who Takes the Children on Holiday

Fighting Over Who Takes the Children on Holiday

Conflict between divorced parents is stressful for the warring adults but it can also be extremely damaging for the children involved. We know that children benefit from having both parents in the lives, so long as each parent has a positive influence, and so often wanting the best for our children means having to work hard towards having a cordial relationship with ex-partners. This can be difficult, especially when the relationship breakdown has left wounds in one or both parties involved, but mediation with a third party can help. It allows parents the space to talk through issues in regards to their children with a neutral professional, to help them make practical decisions about how they will work together to continue raising their children.

One major point of contention that occurs between divorced parents is who is allowed to take the children abroad on holiday. This can be an extremely stressful situation for parents, who are faced with a prolonged amount of time away from their children, not knowing what their children are doing and perhaps the struggle of not being able to offer the same opportunities for their children that their ex-partner can. It is not surprising that resentment creeps into many relationships when the subject of holidays are raised. Most parents, however, will recognise that time with the other parent and the opportunity for a good holiday is an extremely good thing for their child and will work hard to put their personal feelings to one side, but it is important to ensure that couples can at least agree holiday plans to ensure the relationship remains friendly.

Often, couples can manage the decisions involved in planning holidays between themselves. Those who are successful often begin to discuss the holiday well in advance and are honest and open with each other in regard to the details of the holiday. The parent taking the child away, for instance, might offer the other parent information as to where they are staying, who else will be present, flight details and give them contact details that they can use in an emergency. They will often, also agree a date and time where the parent staying behind can call and speak to their children during the holiday.

Sometimes, however, it is too difficult for parents to agree on what happens with regards to taking their children on holiday. Mediation costs, in these instances, is essential to prevent the relationship breaking down and to prevent painful court proceedings, from parents seeking formal permission to take their children on holiday. A mediator is impartial, they will listen to both sides and try and assist both sides in coming to a solution that is best for the children involved. A mediator’s primary concern is the good of the child, they will take into account the feelings of each parent but ultimately, they will help ex-couples work together to deliver what is right for the child.

Mediation is a compulsory step before cases are heard in a court setting. Although a parent might be desperate to have their chance to spend quality time with their child on holiday, seeking permission from a court should be an absolute last resort. Court rooms damage relationships irreversibly and are stressful procedures for all involved. Couples who can’t agree should give their all in mediation to try and prevent the need for decisions to be made by a judge, they should work together and with the trained professional to make the right decisions themselves for their child.